My best friends, both online and off-, I met through writing for a BYU website. (It's top-secret. I can't tell you. Look at this week's Daily Universe Top 5 if you really care.) These are a group of unusually literary, witty, well-read, thoughtful, and just plain awesome twenty-somethings. So I had high hopes that someone would respond.
My online avatar. I once had a fling with a guy who looks like this, no joke. |
I feel some disinterest in your pitches since I'm not from/in Salt Lake City. Are you going for the local thing, or could you make it have a broader appeal to Utah/outdoorspeople?
We first met in a Book of Mormon class wayyyy back in '06, when we were both freshmen. I was really, really excited for her feedback both because we're friends IRL (I recently went to a huge houseparty she hosted, and she is married to my boyfriend's best friend's brother, if you can follow that thread), and as a psychology undergrad and comp lit master's dropout, I thought she was uniquely qualified to chime in.
I will probably lean towards a more global interpretation of Stegner's Recapitulation while not ignoring its Salt Lake City setting, if that makes sense.
Maybe this criticism seems negative, but I thought it was helpful! A. It's concise. B. It addresses real issues with my first thesis statements. C. It doesn't attack me as a person (always nice).
I am glad my social network includes such wonky people -- but please, would you expect anything less? :-)
Not bad, though I hope you will get additional feedback. Have you considered the class member responses, too, to your thesis statements?
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